Is the “Crazy Baby Mama” REALLY Crazy?.

As you know, getting to know someone new is a process.  Whether for business, personal, social, or romantic purposes, you eventually discuss your and their past, their present, and desired future.  At some point while going through this process, we all have or will eventually have a conversation with someone about their children only to find out that the person has children, but admits they are either not involved in their child’s life at all or are minimally involved for one of these “reasons”:

1)The other parent “keeps” the child from them or 2)The other parent is “crazy”.

Before I go any further, let me say: It is very possible that the other parent “keeps” the child from them.  It is also possible that the other parent is “crazy” (whatever that means).  However, unfortunately, in most cases, neither of these explanations is justified:

First let’s look at Jake’s situation:

Jake and Ashley were dating and had a baby. Jake decided he didn’t want to be a father, dumped Ashley, and denied the child even after paternity was proven.  Ashley, raised the baby alone until she met her husband Josh who raised the baby from the age of two as his own son.  Fast forward 10 years later: Jake has a few other children, a wife, and suddenly decides he wants to be in the baby’s life.  Ashley, reluctantly introduces the child to Jake.  After a few hang out sessions, Jake then fades in and out of the kid’s life at his leisure  causing many disappointments.  In the meantime, Jake’s wife, previous girlfriends, family, & friends have all been told by Jake that Ashley is “crazy” and “keeps” the baby from him.

*Clearly, even if Ashley decides to “keep” the child from him, she is justified in doing so to protect the best interest of her child and prevent these unnecessary disappointments right?

Next, let’s look at Chris’ situation

Chris and Sasha dated for a few years. Soon-after their relationship ended, Sasha found out she was pregnant.  Sasha thought this was a great opportunity to mend their relationship. Chris is a great father to the baby.  However, after finally realizing that  their relationship was over, Sasha decided that she did not want to be a mother if she couldn’t have the family she always dreamed of.  For the most part, Chris was a single parent. In the meantime, Sasha’s new boyfriend, family, and friends were all told by Sasha that Chris was “crazy” and “keeps” the baby from her.

*This is a very common situation: One party never desires to be a parent, but thinks a baby will mend a broken relationship.  Once they snap into reality, they hide their true disinterest in parenting by bashing the other parent.

Finally, let’s look at Giselle’s situation

Giselle met Mark 8 months ago.  Giselle thinks Mark is separated from his wife who is the mother of his 3 children.  Giselle has never met the children even though they’ve been in a serious relationship for 6 months because Mark claims that his ex is crazy and will take the kids away from him if she finds out about Giselle.  1 year into the relationship, Giselle receives a visit from Mark’s wife who informs Giselle that she and Mark never separated, and are in fact expecting another baby.  Giselle is devastated.

*Again, a common scenario,if they are secretive and have to hide you from their child’s other parent….RED FLAGS!

So what’s the moral? In most instances, the one who is deemed “crazy” by their ex husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend, or “jump-off” are often the exact opposite of that.  In fact, the accuser usually has some serious issues with reality and/or skeletons they are trying to hide.  When one claims the other parent of their child “keeps” their child from them, that should almost always raise a red flag.  In reality, if someone is keeping their child from them , they will not just sit back and do nothing if they care; they will do whatever it takes.  If they haven’t taken any steps to ensure their ability to parent their children, chances are….the other parent you thought was crazy, isn’t so crazy after all.

What are your thoughts?

  • Have you ever been the one referred to as “crazy”?
  • Do you have the “crazy” ex? If so,how do you deal with it?
  • Have you met someone that referred to their ex as “crazy”? If so, after learning the all of the facts, did you agree? or did you learn otherwise?
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